


Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 16 Heavy Metal War

by specspectacle, Twilight-Owls (LadyTorix)



Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [17]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Embedded Video, Episode Commentary, Episode Review, Links, Podcast, Podfic, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Swearing, Video, YouTube, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 23:59:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19800499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specspectacle/pseuds/specspectacle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTorix/pseuds/Twilight-Owls
Summary: In which, the Constructicons are introduced, Megatron is a cheating McCheater pants, and the Decepticons go skinny dipping in some lava.





	Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 16 Heavy Metal War

**Author's Note:**

> If you need an audio only version of the podcast please check out the links at the end of the transcript!

[Stinger] 

S: At some point, I think, Soundwave and Blaster are fighting over them in Hawaii.

O: [snort] 

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs! 

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 16, Heavy Metal War. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Mm-hmm. We open in a construction site with a purple machine of some kind being moved.

O: And it's purple- clearly it's destined to be Megatron catnip. 

S: We had a conversation about this. 

O: [chuckles] We did. 

S: I want to know what kind of world this is, like, half the time the stuff that Decepticon steal is already Decepticon purple. Or looks like it was built by them.

O: So, I don't know if you guys have seen the entirety of the Batman animated series that came out in the 90’s but there's this what episode where this guy opens a Joker themed hotel. And the reason he did this was because they had run out of money and he thought this would incite the Joker to attack the hotel, and then he would get the insurance money. 

S: So it's an insurance scam.

O: Pretty much. Paint it purple and the Decepticons will come. 

S: Suddenly, a sextet of lime-green construction vehicles show up on scene right out of nowhere.

O: That totally don't have purple Decepticon symbols on the front or _anything,_ and the purple thing they've come to steal is apparently an energy disc?

S: It's not disc shaped? In any way, shape, or form, but okay!

O: The construction workers fetch their own construction vehicles to confront the Decepticon ones.

S: It's time for a demolition derby, baby!!! With construction vehicles. 

O: Watch out! That dump truck has missiles.

S: They're hardcore!

O: [Laughter]

S: And, oh! Lo, look and behold, there are more purple things to steal. They steal another purple thing off a wall, and this one's called a power converter, interestingly enough. This one does, in fact, have a little satellite disk dealio on it.

O: Clearly, the construction workers got the names mixed up.

S: Yes! The construction vehicles transform into robot mode, introducing themselves as the Constructicons, and then they proceeded to fly off. And all the stuff that they stole- which got put in Longhaul’s truck bed, I pres- presumably went into subspace when he transforms, because it just poofs.

O: “Foolish man of flesh,” is my favorite insult for this episode, courtesy of Scrapper. 

S: The Constructicons returned to a temporary Decepticon hideout where the other ‘Cons are waiting.

O: Megatron says something that insinuates the Constructicons were built on earth. I have so, so, so many questions about this. One: How? Two: Where did their sparks come from? And three: In a later episode, there’s an entirely different origin story for them, where they are very clearly from Cybertron.

S: Complete with mind-control tentacles. This is a theme. 

O: Yeah, just in case you thought we were done with them. You're never done with mind control tentacles.

S: Definitely not in this cartoon.

O: [Laughter] Toy roll-call as all the Constructicons are listed individually: Scavenger, Mixmaster, Longhaul, Bonecrusher, Hook, and Scrapper. 

S: Megatron and Starscream have another tiff. Starscream calling Megatron out on his bullshit.

O: Something along the lines of: Megatron has a plan to defeat the Autobots once and for all and Starscream’s like, “Where have we heard that before?” 

S: Every episode. 

O: Pretty much. I'm like, “Starscream has a point!” [Laughter]

S: Sometime later Megatron arrives at the Autobot base.

O: And the Autobots attempt to dissuade Megatron from whatever evil scheme he's got hatching and by coming to their base.

S: Cliffjumper attempts to freeze him because it's Cliffjumper. 

O: Wheeljack attempts to shoot him but he's gun blows up of its own volition because it's Wheeljack. 

S: Yeah. Optimus proceeds to shoot at Megatron and the two of them hold an entire conversation as Megatron does some vaguely ballet- well, vaguely air ballet-like moves in order to dodge the blasts. It's surprisingly graceful. 

O: Megatron has come to challenge Optimus to a one-on-one fight and the loser must leave earth. He cites Cybertronian law for this. This is a stupid law, a really freaking stupid law.

S: The first of many. Wheeljack and Ironhide seem to support this, as it would end the war, but Cliffjumper isn't happy about it. 

O: For once, I agree with Cliffjumper. I never say that!

S: Mr. Suspicious is right. Sometimes-

O: You should be suspicious of Megatron! 

S: I mean a broken clock is right twice a day. So-

O: [Laughter] Every once in a while, Cliffjumper says something that is relevant or it seems to have some amount of sense.

S: It's occasionally correct, yeah. Optimus accepts the challenge and Megatron flies off.

O: Back at the Decepticon base, we see that Megatron is planning on being a Cheater McCheaterpants by using the machine assembled by the Constructicons to absorb the powers of all the other Decepticons. How are they doing this, you ask? With a power chip rectifier, of course. A thing we will never hear about again.

S: When do we ever hear about any of things ever again in the show? 

O: Valid point. Starscream is hesitant and he tells Megatron that this is cheating.

S: Starscream's moral compass gets some exercise here. 

O: Did he forget who he was talking to? 

S:I don't know. Maybe, maybe he was channeling Skyfire? 

O: [Laughter] It’s like, that one- I am convinced Skyfire is his, like, moral compass.

S: Probably. The remaining ‘Cons give up their power chip rectifiers without comment.

O: Scrapper turns on the machine for the transfer, with Megatron shouting a variety of things that sound pretty dirty without context. Mostly made up of a gratuitous use of the word, “More!” With a hefty serving of “More power!” 

S: This works and Megatron orders the Constructicons to disable Teletraan 1 so it can't alert the Autobots to their deception.

O: And now Megatron can summon red lightning from his fist.

S: Through the power of being a major asshole and a huge cheating cheater.

O: [Laughter] In the Ark, it looks like Optimus and literally every single other Autobot head to the battleground, leaving no one behind to keep an eye on Teletraan.

S: This was not a good idea or well-thought-out, but apparently they all wanted to be spectators.

O: Apparently.

S: Both sides basically sit down to spectate this match.

O: Soundwave even releases his cassettes so they can watch. He pets Ravage, too. I love it. 

S: It's very cute. Ironhide and Chip briefly mention the Roman gladiatorial fights.

O: In comparison to the Optimus- Megatron fight.

S: Yeah.

O: And I deeply wish I could butt in and tell Chip that Megatron was a literal fucking gladiator. I bet he'd be fascinated. 

S: According to the g1 U- UK comics, he was, too, in addition to the IDW ones.

O: Yes.

S: So it’s multi-continuity.

O: Pretty much. It's later reused as backstory, both for the first IDW run and Transformers Prime.

S: Mm-hmm. And Megatron tosses Optimus over his shoulder one-handed.

O: Mm-hm! Throughout the match, the Decepticons point out which powers Megatron's using at any given moment. Starscream has the power of bombs! And his null ray. 

S: Megatron uses his weird hip gun to shoot Optimus before using Rumble’s earthquake ability. Optimus Prime suplexes a boulder at Megatron, but he uses Skywarp’s teleportation ability to evade.

O: And if the Autobots had not figured out this **incredibly obvious thing** that was happening, then they really should have once he used Skywarp’s ability. 

S: Yeah. Cutting to the Constructicons, they've made it to the volcano where the Ark is located.

O: And Scavenger’s just straight-up Ratchet’s VA doing a not-so-different voice, “Hi, Scooby.”

S: Megatron and Optimus continue to fight with Megs using Reflector’s ability to momentarily blind Optimus as he hits him with Thundercracker’s sonic booms. 

O: Optimus is finally taken down by one more blast by Megatron's fusion cannon and Megatron declares himself the victor. 

S: Honestly, I'm not sure how none of the Autobots couldn’t hear any of the Decepticon commentary.

O: I think that- that's a valid point, too. I’m just sort of like guys you really, really should have realized what was going on. That, and it’s Megatron. Do you really think he's going to play fair?

S: Uh-huh. 

O: The Autobots head back to the Ark to fix Optimus, with the Decepticons escorting them. 

S: This is not the first time, I think- or will not be the last time the Decepticons escort the Autobots to make sure they don't cheat. This is-

O: Which, I mean, irony. [laughs] 

S: Hypocritical.

O: A little bit. 

S: Yeah. The Constructicons make it to Teletraan 1, but not before the computer alerts the Dinobots. Who apparently stayed behind. 

O: I'm not really sure why these guys were the ones left behind, they would have loved to watch the fight.

S: Probably because they would have wanted to join in on the fight.

O: Yeah, yeah, valid point. I don't think they would have taken no for an answer. 

S: They’re very much guys who want to- want to get their fight on.

O: Yeah. 

S: A fight ensues, with the Dinobots forcing the Constructicons out of the volcano.

O: And this episode marks the first appearance of the combiner, the ginormous Devastator! Which the Constructicons formed to fight the Dinobots. 

S: Ratchet and Wheeljack succeed in fixing Optimus. 

O: And then Spike and Teletraan inform the rest of the Autobots that Megatron was using the other Decepticons’ abilities, rendering their agreement null and void. 

S: Outside, a **giant** Autobot shows up out of nowhere to scare the pants off Devastator. 

O: An illusion by Hound, of course,

S: Mm-hmm, they're very- they're very handy.

O: The Constructicons are knocked into some handy lava, as are the rest of the Decepticons in the following fight with Optimus finishing off Megatron. 

S: And Optimus says, “It is ended.” 

O: He means for this season. The Decepticons will return with no ill effects from their lava bath in season 2.

S: It might count as a spa, even. And Megatron is pissed and vows to rise again.

O: Of course he does, and that's the end of season 1 of the Transformers. We did it! We'll be back in a month, at the beginning of season 2, but a few weeks join us as we talk about the crossover comic “Mars Attacks the Transformers.”

S: Mm-hmm. 

O: And we actually have read the comic. It's quite fun, so we're looking forward to getting to talk about it. 

S: Yes. 

O: And, Specs, I believe we have some fanfic for today? 

S: Yes, we do, we have two pieces of fanfiction to recommend. They are both Constructicon based since it's their first episode.

O: Right.

S: Might as well focus on them. So the first recommendation is Diversion by Steelcircle. It is based in the g1 cartoon continuity, it's rated K+, and it's a gen fic. There aren't any pairings, but our characters for this piece of fanfiction are Scrapper, Hook, Scavenger, Mixmaster, Longhaul and Bonecrusher, and in summary, “Bonecrusher and Mixmaster put their own spin on a human form of entertainment.” I am NOT going to spoil what that form of entertainment is, but we have actually seen it in one of our earlier recommendations.

O: All right. I haven't read this one yet so I have no frame of reference.

S: It's- it's good. it's pretty short, I definitely recommend it, and our theme for this one and the other one was Constructicons. So that's very short and it's a one shot. They're both one shots. And the second recommendation is “What are you in for” by Ckret2. It is set in the IDW G1 comic continuity, it's rated K, there is some slight shipping in it and our pairings are- the one pairing is Hook/Scrapper. The characters in this pick are Scrapper and Mixmaster, and there are actually some- some, like, mooks so who are there at the beginning and do some talking but they aren't important. 

O: They’re not important, they’re not what we’re here for.

S: Yes, and in summary, “Scrapper finds himself in a holding cell for trying to help his friend, Hook, get into the medical caste, where he meets a quiet cellmate with a drum mixer on his back.” 

O: Psst, it’s Mixmaster. [Laughter]

S: It is, it is. And, they're both really good and I like them and they're- that one's also a one-shot. Uh, they're short but they're good so I’d recommend them.

B: [Laughter] 

S: And that's it for the fanfiction recommendations, thank you,

O: And there are no fan art today, like said we will be doing a comic next time, though.

S: Alright! And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark[-]Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations as Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts Stitcher and YouTube, just to name a few. Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

**Author's Note:**

> **Fanfic Recommendations:**
> 
>   * [Diversion](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6051393/1/Diversion) by [Steelcircle](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1501496/Steelcircle)
>   * [What’re You In For?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17163692) by [ckret2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ckret2/pseuds/ckret2)  
>    
> 
> 

> 
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> 
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> 

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